being an Emo

Just when the sky is blue and the fields are green, everything in sight are grayish in colour, and the sickening darkness comes swirling in, conquering my mind and my soul. I can't think, I can't smile, I can't focus, and I walked like a zombie. I ate chocolate, I drank something sweet, I ate cookies, just to you know, get back in the mood, but still to no avail. I went to the library, and sat down among the books, took a deep deep breathe, and closed up my eyes. I eventually felt better. I thought I was getting it over, but just the second I leave, it's all coming back to me. I know it was just a small matter, but it really hurt me deep, deep enough to make me soulless. I don't know how long its going to take to feel okay again, but I'm trying hard to get my mind off it.

If it's often too difficult to be somebody that you're not, so why be?

Night sky

I know its late, but I couldn't fall asleep. Okay, maybe I can, but i just don't want to. Simply just because I particularly like the times like this, and I certainly don't wanna miss even a second of the quiet night. It's not like I could do this everyday, so since its weekend, I'm so gonna stay up late, enjoying the minutes to dawn, with a cup of instant cappuccino, and a romance novel I got from the IRC. Sitting in front of the window, having the cold night air taunting me, just like they always do, seeping up my cup of hot cappuccino, looking high up into the sky, and somehow I find the feeling wonderful. The late night sky, it looks just so beautiful. With the moon and a few shinning stars outcasting the groovy thick clouds, it was an indeed very simple, and yet perfectly illustrated piece of art. Being alone when the world's sleeping, often makes me feel forsaken, but not in the sense that I am lonely, surprisingly I somehow awkwardly enjoy being left alone. Maybe I just needed some time on my own to do some deep thinking like this, figuring out the realms beyond simplicity, and searching for the inspiration that feeds the mind of thoughts.

To Dream a Dream

Everyone has a dream, to be rich, to be famous, and perhaps to be on the top of the world. But for me, I just wanted something simple. No super big mansion, no super luxury car, just a DSLR, and a backpack, and oh, nearly left out the most important stuff in anyone life, cash! *Kaching kaching! I wish to travel all over the world, to see and to feel. I'm so gonna do it, someday. But for now, its rather an imagination than a wish list. First I don't have the money, and second I don't have the guts. I mean its the world I'm talking about, and that's something big and uhm, can't really find the suitable word, dangerous I guess.
Imagine that, holding your DSLR, with your medium size Samsonite backpack, travel from Rome to Venice, from Paris to London, from Frankfurt to Berlin, from Africa to Brazil, from New York to LA, it feels so unrestricted, so much adventures, so much freedom. Its simply a life that a person couldn't have want more.
Just before it all could happen, I have to pass my every test, working offshore *finger cross, getting promotion, getting all the raise and stuff, until I'm totally done with that, and then, there begins the real chapter of my life, the real story of me.

Stary stary night

The late night air is so cool yet so refreshing.
And a really deep breathe makes the night even more wonderful.
I just enjoy the blow of the midnight breeze, it makes me think beyond logic.
Everything is so quiet at the moment, no noise, no people, just me, and the stars.
Its a rare occasion to have yourself alone, finding peace in a place you never liked.
And this very rare occasion simply just happen to me, tonight.

From Utp with love

01:49, and the lights in most of the rooms are still on. Its a culture to stay up late I guess. Drank a big cup of Nescafe ice earlier, and now its taking its effect, I cant go to bed. Coughing like hell for nearly a week already, and it just not getting any better.
Just some quick recap of my weeks, I've joined so many clubs, mostly blindly, but some of them eventually turn out to be fun! Muaythai was really awesome, just can't wait til the next class. And I joined Karate back, the timing was so great that I got an AHOD post just after one training, and also much of the muscle pain. Meche club, ELC, SAE, and AIESEC, the another really awesome organization run by a bunch of really awesome people. Just loving it.
And while writing this post, I'm suddenly craving so badly for kentucky cheezy wedges! Argh, its been so long since I ate one. H~U~N~G~R~Y~
Oh, nearly forgot to complain about my lecturer, the DE lecturer. She really sucks! I don't get a word she is teaching, and yet she was showing herself off in the first class about how good she really is. Yeah right, I can teach by just showing slides too! And also the AW lecturer, she can talk and talk and talk non-stop from the minute she enter the class. And everything she talks about are pointless. One more thing, I just don't know why is she keep on shifting our schedule, it do us no good, in fact just making things complicated. Ow, having these two lecturers, I think I'm going to screw up my 1st pointer, not mentioning the case that I'm not eligible for dean's list. This is really a fucked up school with its fucked up system.
Its just week 3 and I'm experiencing so many ups and downs already. Just don't know what is going to happen next. Life is a mystery after all. Wink!